Oh how the times have changed
Some musings and updates
I would advise you to go and get yourself a cup of coffee or tea as well as go and use the restroom before starting to read this. It may be a little longer than my usual. (Dies laughing at your expressions and the thought of …do I even want to read this? She is long winded as is!)
For the last few weeks I haven’t been writing here or on my two other main blogs. I haven’t because I have started working on a big project for the sissies and femmi bois among you. It turns out to be a huge undertaking and today I realized that a lot of how I wanted to pull it off was not going to work in today’s era of super cheap quick fixes and lazy reading attitudes.
I was working on building up an online Academy, with actual full courses and give a full experience as much as anyone can online to those who wished to partake of it. Late last night I sat in front of my laptop after completing the 20th hour of the work I had put into already and I am only 3 Pages in, and realized this wasn’t going to work this way. I was wasting my time with this in a bad way.
Why? Because I am the type of person that is extremely detailed and highly organized. I have a huge love for protocols and regimentation in how I do certain things that include those under my care. I am the type of person who naturally attempts to bring solid structure to everything I do and when I train, teach and condition in something I build things up from the foundation. Basically I am very old school in my approach in how I do things myself and how I want things done.
I bring this type of protocol and regimentation into just about everything I do to a certain extent. Even in how I do actual Financial Domination with My financial SLAVES. Not so much with the fetish boys and one offs, because there it doesn’t matter. They won’t be around to build anything with them. They are just little bleeps on the screen of that appear quickly – cum quickly – and leave even quicker. With Slaves whom you form a D/s relationship with, even those that include Financial Domination, you need to include protocols and regimentation to a degree to give the structure you build for them a good solid ground.
It’s an immense amount of time investment and effort I as the Lady put into everything I do, and with that type of time investment sadly I need to see a return financially as well. This is My Lifestyle but My Career as well. If I was working a regular job somewhere I couldn’t even put 1/4 of the things I do to fruition and put out there for others to enjoy and / or learn from. It wouldn’t be possible time and energy wise. When I say I live this life 24/7 / 365 I literally do. Heck I even dream about the things I do for and with you boys and girls. This is My life and yes when you make that choice you do make sacrifices as well. Not just the subs, the Dom/mes make them too. You just don’t see it.
My foster father was a Master Mason (Bricklayer) and I remember him taking me to some of the Construction Zones when I was really little. He would point to the foundation of the houses and tell me. “Remember this in everything you do. If the foundation is unstable or on unsuitable ground any structure you build on it will be weak and can crumble easily. Your house or structure is only as strong as its foundation. You have to be very precise and methodical in how you lay a foundation. You can’t just do what you want at that point. You are taking a huge responsibility on yourself when you lay that foundation. You are creating the ground work for something special and important that will effect not just you but other people as well.”
As I matured and had my life experiences I saw the truth in this over and over again. Things that were just sort of thrown together, had little effort put into from the start, or were rushed through, wouldn’t last long. Things and relationships that were without a strong and solid foundation and with that a strong structure, were doomed to go sideways and fail to remain strong.
Back than when I was that very young person times were very different and especially in the country I grew up in. People still took pride in everything they did. They didn’t mind hard work as long as they knew it would pay off for them. Nobody likes to work for free without some sort of reward from it. The attitude however was different. They knew they were entitled to fair numeration for their work, but they also knew that you had to put effort and hard work into getting what you wanted from anything in life. They took pride in doing a job and doing it well. They understood not only rights but obligations as well.
Unlike today, were everyone seems to think they are entitled to have everything handed to them for free and just on the merit of them having been born. Honestly that type of thought process is one weak as hell foundation to build anything on. That house will fall sooner than later. Theses days everyone ones seems to want to have their rights while taking the rights of others away and want the perks without the obligations and responsibilities. We live in a time that is so riddled with ignorance and selfishness, with pure senselessness and without any logic and foresight. It’s all about the instant gratification and who can scream the loudest. It’s insane and it will be what destroys humanity in the end. It’s terrifying to watch.
When I first entered in the BDSM Lifestyle back in 1992 it wasn’t a fad yet. Oh it wasn’t underground as much any longer as it had been before, but it was still very toned down. You had do know someone, or know someone who knew someone, to get into different Dungeon spaces. You needed references to be seen by a Mistress for a Session. You actually listened and appreciated your Mentors or Trainers if you had them. Oh and you did pay for it to. You didn’t just ask for or demand handouts. You would have been laughed out of the room if you tried that back than.
No you either paid money for the training or you paid by being of service to them. You trained up from the bottom literally, one step at a time, so you could understand what you were doing and appreciate both sides. It was a very solid foundation on which you than could go and build. Oh and trust me when I tell you, bottoming down to someone when you don’t have a submissive bone in your body and you are new without any real understanding sucks big time. However it actually installs something that people don’t get today. It makes you grateful and even humble to a point. It also installs an immense amount of respect into you for other people who deserve it.
I come from a generation and a time frame, an attitude, a way of seeing things, that these days is not one bit appreciated. Matter of fact it is often laughed at and told that our days are gone.
We are told that we should just go and retire. That we are obsolete because we don’t understand how things work in these much more enlightened days.
We are told that we are stupid and foolish for being respectful to other people as women especially to men, because we as women are so superior to everyone else. We are just the cat’s meow apparently.
We are told that our power sits in our boobs, asses and naked pussies which we throw around online for free to proof the point that women can be just as empowered to be free with their bodies as guys can. We are told that we only have to flip our fingers, call everyone we don’t even know losers, and talk shit to individuals whom we have no idea who they are. We are told a whole bunch of seriously stupid stuff that makes absolutely no sense any more.
We are told that women are now ruling the world and I am looking around myself and see only a bunch of over-inflated egos with very little actual backup. I appreciate it as a lifestyle choice and a fetish as well, but as a overall rule that includes human beings that have no idea what those lifestyle choices are about, not so much. Half of those women can’t even take care of themselves who scream those propaganda phrases they picked up from somewhere online and still live with their Mommy and Daddy.
I see women claiming to be Femdom Goddesses but tear each other apart like fishmongers at the drop of a hat, but ask them what SSC or RACK stands for, what AFTERCARE is, what at top drop is, what sub space means or other really basic questions and they look at you as if you are speaking a foreign to them language. Worst yet, they don’t even want to learn because they are of the believe that just because they are females they are worthy of worship and being spoiled. Beauty without substance.
It’s so removed from reality that it’s painful to watch and the women who have bought into this hook line and sinker actually really think that those guys who praise them for showing off their naked bodies for free in the hopes for a couple of dollars, really worship them. It’s insanity! They are praising you because they are getting exactly what they want from you for FREE and they don’t even have to go to a strip club any more or bother to hire a Webcam Performer to get naked for them in order to get their cheap thrills.
We wonder why males have almost no respect for females any longer and why they provide nothing more than lip service. We wonder why males are less and less men and more and more entitled little shits too who wouldn’t know what being responsible and respectful means. Take a good look around you, where do you think they learned it from? YOU so called superior women, you are teaching them how to be, because you are leading by example.
It makes me sick to the core.
I and many Ladies of my generation or the generation before me have somewhat high standards. For ourselves and those who are permitted to be in contact with us. We worked hard to get you where you are now, to break those path open, to give legitimacy to something that was pretty obscure. We did it with class, hard work, and a lot of effort. We also knew when we had accomplished the goals and didn’t yank it way into the left field and out of the solar system.
I come from a generation that looked for quality rather than quick fixes and cheap thrills. We payed fair prices in order to gain access t the things we wanted without whining and throwing fits about it.
We grew up with: You get what you pay for. Nothing in life is free, you have to work for what you want. The world doesn’t owe you shit, you are not special, you don’t get special privileges. We all get the same thing… an opportunity the make our life the best we can and at times that means clawing your way out of a lot of shit and really sacrificing for a while and putting in some seriously hard work to get there.
Most of us in the Lifestyle understood that someone may be a Dom/me or a sub / slave, but that didn’t mean they were yours. People didn’t just throw the word owned around like it was candy. Collars were something special and something you had to earn and work for. When you placed a collar around the neck of a slave it was a very special moment, one that neither took lightly or forgot. It was like a Wedding of sorts. Something you hoped would last for the rest of your life together and were willing to work hard on keeping it good together. It was a deep commitment, unlike today where most people have no idea what a collar even stands for. To them it’s just cute leather jewelry.
Subs get OWNED after 2 days of knowing a Lady .. what the fuck? What exactly do you know about each other after 2 days? Almost nothing! You don’t own someone you don’t know. You have no connection with them yet, you haven’t even gone through one single bad time together to see who each side handles it. You probably haven’t even heard one single thing about their personal life yet. Oh and do you even know how much responsibility you just took for that submissive or slave soul by claiming them as Property? That is what owned means – they are now your Property. That comes with a huge amount of responsibility and understanding of the needs of the other person.
These days so called subs and slaves in general watch porno, stroke off their dicks, rub their clits, and think kissing someones ass is service. They think that telling a woman what he or she thinks she wants to hear is being a good boy or girl. They honestly believe that 24/7/365 means they get to stay home, never work again and be played with constantly. They honestly think that it is all due them and that they have to put almost no effort into anything. It’s hilarious what they think is a D/s relationship these days. Oh and if they don’t like what you have to say or they don’t enjoy doing something because it is difficult and requires a bit of effort, they just disappear. NO by your leave or anything. They aren’t subs or slaves, they are entitled spoiled little children in grown up bodies and have no clue what it means to actually have a the slave spark or what that even is.
Someone asked me so how many slaves do you have right now? I looked at that person and said. At them moment I do not have a single slave. I have a lot of fetishists and casual weekend warriors whom I interact with and give the benefit of my knowledge and wisdom to for a fee. It has been now about 10 years since I had an ACTUAL slave and I miss HER dearly. Yes a Her, and she was truly a slave from the very heart on out. The last actual MALE SLAVE who wore MY collar with pride and respect I have to go back 18 years now. In between I had a lot of subs here and there, both real time and online, but none of them were actual slaves.
That answer went straight over the young womans head and she went on to brag to me how she has been in the scene for less than a year now but she has about 30 slaves right now. None of whom she has known longer than maybe 3 months and none whom she has spend more than maybe 60 hours in total with online. Oh and training them? Well her idea of training them was to tell them that she is perfect, superior, to lick her feet (which would have to be done on screen because she is online only) and oh yes to fucking pay her because she is so fabulous. *Raises eyebrow*
Welcome to the new World Order, is all I can say and it makes me wonder just how much more ridiculous it is going to get.
You glorify foolishness and entitlement, you disdain experience and wisdom. You do not appreciate those who deserve it and you literally throw pearls before swine. You scream for connections, but you won’t take the time to build them. You want your desires met but you are not willing to pay for it in any way. You scream for respect and being understood, but you give neither respect or have any understanding at all. You demand for the world to coddle you and to give you whatever you want, but when you will go out into the real world and have to survive you will be eaten up alive.
You know, I appreciate all the advances we have made as human beings, but I bemoan the solid foundations we once used to have. YOu scream how hard you have it these days and most of you wouldn’t know what hard times are. You have it easier today than most people ever have had. You just are not getting it your way and you need to actually think a little before acting. You may actually have to work hard to build up a business and learn to do it all yourself or you may have to go and take a job you think is beneath you to survive. You know what you aren’t special, WE all have to as well, only those of us who are around long enough to remember back a ways, realize that it always has been that way. We don’t expect to have it just handed to us, we work for it. YES even US Femdom / Findommes do because we realize that it takes effort to keep a relationship sweet for both sides.
I want you to think about all of what I said and I want both sides to take a moment and look at why you are not getting what you want. Why you keep getting so disappointed all the time. Why you are not being respected and why our Scene is not getting better but is just morphing into something with very little meaning.
Maybe you need a dose of OLD SCHOOL along with your NEW AGE APPROACH. it could make all the difference in the world.
Most of us OGs have been around for 20 plus years now and we are still here and active. Most of you won’t be even thought of in 3 years from now. Most of OGs won’t really ever retire either, we’ll still be around until our bodies and minds give out. We’ll be around for those few and lucky boys and sissies who truly dream of being under the loving but strict control of a Lady who understands their needs and who lives what she says she does. We understand the symbiotic nature of D/s and we understand what we are worth too.
Ever wonder why most Ladies of Power who have that 20 plus year experience levels charge so much or have such high standards when it comes to how they want to be served and the tributes they expect? That’s because we are truly priceless and worth more than you’ll ever know due to our understanding and wisdom alone. We actually did pay our dues i spades and didn’t just jump into the WATER and scream… fuck you pay me, here I am worship me. We gave our slaves something worth worshiping that transcends our bodies.
Just a little food for thought and now I am going back to working on my new Project and on educating as well as enticing the minds and hearts of those who have the patience to actually read what a woman of Power has to say.
Congratulations to those of you who made it all the way to the end of this long post. You are a rarity among today’s people. You have the patience and willingness to stick it out even when it gets a bit difficult to go on. So in a word this was not just a long ass “rant” but also a test. You passed!
Goddess Bella Donna